Is it crazy to talk about who ranks where in a relationship? Is there even such a thing as a rank when it comes to your loved ones? We all have that unconditional love for our parents that is like no other (I do understand that not everyone may feel like this about their parents but I believe majority rules we love our parents unconditionally). When we get married and start having children our love spreads out amongst our spouse and our children. Can everyone be dished out the same amount of love? Is the love equal? Most often you don’t hear “Why are you putting your parents above me?” But what you do hear is “Why is your mother getting more attention than me or why does your mother take priority in your life and not me?” (This normally comes from a woman to her man). Unfortunately, you do not hear women or men having this conversation about the fathers, the dads. I will not digress but this is an entire subject in itself.
When you become married is your spouse is suppose to be your best friend or is it suppose to be your mother? Are you still obligated to do all of the same things you were doing for your mother once you become married? Here’s a true example: Gentleman use to go over his mom’s house every Saturday, he would wash her car, run errands, and fix or trouble-shoot any issues that may be going wrong in his mother’s home. Now, the man is married his wife has started planning Saturday events and couples are inviting them out to do couple things on Saturday. So who is this man obligated too? Should he stop doing his normal Saturday chores for his mother or should he spend Saturday’s with is spouse? I truly think it can be divided but I will say the spouse should take priority. I know some of you may not agree but that’s my belief. But again, I still believe the man should be able to do things for his mom, IF he is available.
What I do honestly believe is that “some” people take marriage took lightly. Think about the biblical stance on marriage and also the act of two people coming together and stating those vows, it may be too deep for some to understand. Two people are being joined together in a “holy matrimony.” Here’s some quotes that might be relevant to some:
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Ephesians 5:25
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Ephesians 5:22-24
When you are not clear where you “rank” in your relationship or you feel that your spouse has NOT given you the number 1 spot in the relationship friction can emerge. Men and women want to hold a place in their spouse’s heart that no one can touch and should not be able to touch. A marriage should be a bond that no man can bring doom to. There should always be a united front with friends and family. When outsiders see that there is a possible divide they will prey on that inkling of a chance to bring the divide, but when outsiders see that the united front is strong and stable they will stray and realize that nothing they can do or say will divide that marriage.
As always, I want to hear your thoughts. Keep It Real!
~Real Women Revealed/CEO~
Real Women Revealed 