Take the Poll
I believe there are pros and cons regarding “living together” if you are not married. I think a positive in the situation would be you are getting a clear vision of this person’s behavior; habits; and overall personality. A negative would be one person becomes complacent about marriage (if that’s the ultimate goal). One might say, “Why get married if I am getting what I would get if I was married?” Well, one part of that is you are not getting the benefits of being married. What I mean by “benefits of being married” is that when you live together and start purchase homes, cars, and generating bills together, if you are living together it can be real ugly if that relationship ends. (And we all know that happens) You hear people saying, “I bought that bedroom set” or “I decorated this entire house.” I have seen situations get volatile or people will literally tear up those materials things just so the other person will not get it. (Crazy right, but it happens) When you are married and if the unfortunate divorce occurs it is easier for the courts to split of property. The courts will tell you they do not have time to try to split of everything because you were playing house. (Just watch Judge Judy)
Of course I do not believe this is the major benefit of being married. I believe marriage is Great! To be with someone who has your back at all times no matter what is a huge benefit; which coincides with loving you unconditionally. A relationship is WORK. No matter if you are married or not, and what work you put into it is what you will get out of it.
Also, for individuals that are true to their religion, I would have to believe that you would hold-fast to your religious beliefs about living together before marriage. Right?
Please share your thoughts and stories.
Check out these 2 links before to gain more insight.
Oprah did a focus story in her magazine from Rabbi Shmuley check it out because it is quite interesting!
Couples Who Live Together Before Marriage More Likely To Divorce
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Cohabitation is an interesting phenomena of modern times. Once upon a time if you lived with someone before you were married it was wrong…now the opposite is true. It’s become an expected part of a relationship.
When I tell people I don’t want to live with a partner before I’m married I get some extreme reactions. People think I’m insane or hiding something or a religious nut! I’m none of these things. I made the decision a long time ago that I wouldn’t move in with a partner until I had a ring on my finger and I continue to think, despite now being one of a minory, that it’s the right thing for me.
I just don’t want living together be be another stepping stone. Call me an old romantic but I want moving in with someone to mean a life-long committment. Sharing a home is just as intimate as having a ring on my finger and I want it to be with the right person and not just because it’s cheaper to split the rent. My expectations of this day may have been ruined by Disney but Snow white didn’t shack up with one of the dwarfs because she’d had a perfectly lovely time living with him and knew they could still get on…she waited out for her prince…I just don’t buy the cohabitation story that they’re selling.
I’m also not against living with someone. I can’t wait for all the new things that come with settling into a home with someone I’m committed too…I just want to make sure that investment is for life.
I think you make some absolutely great points! Love your ideology too!